If I had one wish, you’d stay forever.
The echo of your laugh, the curve of your smile, the sweetness of your voice, the softness of your embrace, and the love we shared, everything still lingers in every fiber of my being. No matter how much time will pass, nothing could ever make me let go of your existence.
Even if you’re no longer here.
I went through our messages and pictures again. I still remember every memory of us together, both good and bad. We didn’t realize we were making memories, we knew we were having fun and no one could ever separate us. The little things?The little moments? They weren’t little.
I saw how we both smiled at each other, my eyes sparkled like the brightest star. Only you can make them shine. Back then, I knew I loved you by my side. But after you were gone, that love never lessened, it grew more deeper as every second without you passed by.
People told me to move forward, but how can I go on without leaving you behind? I don’t want to walk ahead knowing that your memory can be buried. In the storehouse of my memory are your words, gestures, and your face. How can you forget someone who has been a part of who you are?
Two things were also gone from the day you left; you and the chance to ever feel whole again.
When you passed, I felt like time stood still and everyone stopped moving. But as time goes by, everyone started moving again, they’re all walking forward, able to move on and start again. But there was me — I’m still holding unto you.
Life went on somehow, I wondered how could it be. How can the sun still rise without you? How can the moon still shine without you? How could everything go on when the world ended for me?
I didn’t just lose you once. I feel you being pulled away every time I open my eyes to a new dawn as I awaken, so does your memory, and so does the ache in my heart that you’re no longer here. Again, and again.
I carry your memory all along with me, wherever where am I. Everything still reminds me of you, there was no day that I hadn’t said your name in my mind. In my reality, a huge part of my soul is missing, like a piece of a puzzle that has been lost. Time passed by like a ticking clock, but my life hasn’t been the same since I lost you.
But, time could alter everything. It made me realize that you wouldn’t want me to stop my life because you’re not here anymore. I knew that nothing could ever make me forget you, and it wasn’t a bad thing. I have realized that the only way to live is to embrace grief. Because grief only exists where love lived first.
And choosing to finally step forward doesn’t mean filling the part of you in my heart. It doesn’t mean that there won’t always be an indescribable emptiness haunting me each night. There will always be sadness deeply woven into my voice whenever I talk about you. But my heart will always smile for having a chance to be loved by you.
And wherever you are, I hope the skies are bluer, the colors are brighter, the hills are higher, and the world is kinder. I will continue to stay in this life, I will make every day fulfilling, I will make this life worth living, and I will carry you all along. Someday, when our path finally collides again, I’ll have stories to tell you and you will say that you were proud of me.
Now I know why you always told me to be strong. You knew that one day I would need the strength to bear your loss.
